RED WOOD RANTS ABOUT THE PROM SEASON

Proms are getting wilder and more expensive these days

Today a young man needs his Daddy’s Lexus, a Tuxedo, Flowers, a hotel suite for the after prom party and maybe even bail money.

Here’s a tip for you boys; A high priced tuxedo will not make up for a third rate hair cut.

After the prom do not wear strange, hideous clothes to the after party. Remember, you are going to a party not the Oscars.

You younger guys listen up, don’t let the older guys steal your daddy’s hubcaps in the parking lot.

Proms are good I guess but I remember the good ole days when it was cheaper and a lot more fun. A guy didn’t need all them gadgets to impress a gal. My high school had an Elvis theme. It was great. There was the sequined coat bought at the thrift store, Elvis songs and a punch bowl filled with gravy. I’m talking wild.

You kids be safe now!

THE SENATOR: PICK-UP LINES USED BY SINGLE I-R-S AGENTS

So little lady are you filing single in 2007?

I would be happy to take a look at your figures.

Hi there are you an E-Z filer?

Check the in-box if you would like to go out.

You are looking more attractive than a stolen refund check.

I sure hope you don’t believe in withholding

That’s a 10-Four on your 1040 baby.

There you go!

MAHA’S MUSINGS

There is nothing certain but death and taxes and more taxes

If you have a tension headache, take two aspirins and stay away from children

Do you think a designated driver ever has a little fun by dropping the intoxicants off at the wrong house?

If life were fair, wouldn’t Elvis be alive and the impersonators be deceased?

Can it be said that Bigamy and monogamy are the same? One wife too many?

Never attend a Mike Tyson Success seminar.

It was the great Guru Clint Eastwood who said, “Always honor your woman; even if she is good, bad or ugly.”

Peace upon you all.

QUOTES FROM THE WISE ACRE HIMSELF

“What ever your talents may be, it is up to you to develop them” Kurt Kilpatrick

“If you carry a big grudge all your life you will probably fall behind on your journey.” Kurt Kilpatrick