ARTICLE: KICK-OFF WITH HUMOR: A GOOD LAUGH SETS THE TONE OF THE MEETING

Written for CONVENTION SOUTH  MAGAZINE

By Kurt Kilpatrick, JD,CSP,CPAE

          Victor Borge said, "Laughter is the shortest distance between two people." More often than not, a good laugh can set the tone for a good meeting. It is always best to make humor relevant and related to what is going on. In the absence of the same, here are some sure-fire generic lines to help the overworked meeting planner kick-off a meeting without dying at the microphone. My TOP TEN Sure-Fire Lines:

10.              ( Large Crowd) "Thank you all for coming. I really didn't expect this many people…so I want to tell you up front that we don't play bingo here."

9.                "Welcome to this important gathering; I promise to be brief…even if it takes all day."

8.                  "I plan to make what I call my HOT PANTS introductions today. They will be long enough to cover the subject but sort enough to be interesting."

7.                  "I apologize for being a little late, but I dozed off while proof reading my remarks; however, my portion of the program won't be long because I don't have that large of a vocabulary."

6.                  (Early Morning) "Good morning. As I look out upon this expectant audience I am reminded of the old adage, 'early to bed, early to rise, makes your neighbors wonder why you can't get a job with better hours.' "

5.                  If you begin with an opening that does not go over you might say, "That is what I call my U-S Postal Service  joke…you might get it next week."

4.                  (Quasi-Humorous opening) "Welcome to this important meeting of movers and shakers in our business. I am reminded of the two great philosophers whose wisdom applies to the tasks we face. The first said, "you really don't have to be that good to begin, but you do have to begin to be good." And the second philosopher who said, "If you ain't ready to run with the big dogs, then don't come down off the porch."  I hope all of you are ready to get off the porch."

3.                  "As you are getting settled into your seats and hopefully have already settled into your hotel rooms, let me plant this one thought in your mind. WE LIED ABOUT THE FREE PARKING."

2.                  "When I first got into the meeting planning business and had to get up in front of people to speak, I never quite knew what to do with my hands. That is, until one lady suggested that I put them over my mouth."

1.                  "Welcome. I want everyone to be at ease during this meeting. Should you have a question please don't hold back because you think your question may be trite or unimportant. I don't mind those kids of questions at all…usually the are the only ones I can answer."

There you have a few lines that may work in a variety of situations. You are

Also welcome to tweak them to fit the circumstances. Every group is different and the dynamic is unique. It is always best to work hard at tailoring your opening remarks and to make them colorful, relevant and relateable. Above all…HAVE FUN!